#fucksatan

Home alone all day with a house full of alcohol and I didnt drink. Hella proud 💪🏼

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I wait for the snap

slowly and carefully

carved into my heart

 

I tense waiting for the words,

the look that cuts through my soul

 

she’s quiet, she doesn’t respond

did she notice? did she see what I’d done?

 

I hear the egg shells crack,

the glass shatter,

the drop of blood hit the floor

 

nothing

 

her spirit is soft

she sees but…

she sees differently

 

“I’m sorry.”

Hoping to cushion the blow

How can I fix it?

What should I do?

 

“Just leave.” it says

“She’s better off with you anyway.”

“You can’t do anything right.”

“Just because she didn’t this time…”

 

I wait for the snap

Thank you for encouraging me and trying to love me well

Forgot i had these in my wallet.. just found them while i was looking through it.. its crazy to think we met a year ago June 14. I still have a hard time reconciling all the good memories and the bad. Some days i can only remember the good and others only the bad. I love you. I miss you. I really hope you’re doing well.

Soft Spirit

She has a soft spirit

When the fear begins to trickle in

As i brace for the impact of harsh words and disappointmenting looks

I begin to tip toe on the egg shells i place for myself

Like riding a bike, this change in step now carved into my chest

Tension, fear, regret

But I look back at her and shes sitting there

Did she even notice 

Didnt she see 

Shes quiet