Sometimes i just wish i could die.
Seems so much easier than trying to survive this life… thats why ppl need tv and movies and books and video games and drugs and alcohol. To get the fuck out if this life for a second. To stand in the safe zone. Beacuse ppl dont make this life easy to live. Its like when your game gets stuck replaying the hardest level and you can never get out.
There’s never an easy answer…. if any fucking answer at all to anything
What do i know? Always my grounding question in times like this… i used to ask her that… i remember the first tome we were sitting together and she was so sad and lost and confused trying to explain her mind to me and i remember asking her… What do you know? What do you know about God?
I know He loves me. I know He loves her. I know He has a plan. I know His plan is better than my own. I know He has been faithful in the past.
I know He wouldnt want me to hurt myself.
With alcohol or fire or the sharp edge of anything i may find…
He would want me to trust Him…to keep moving forward… even when i feel blind and confused and
Just want it all