There are two different things in my life that God has used to shape me into who I am today. The first being the unique family dynamic that I have grown up in and the second is a sin that I have struggled. Not many people know about this struggle that I have faced; it is something I have long hidden from even those closest to me. But this year, everything has changed.
Both of my parents work and my mom is also in school, so I have grown up helping take care of my little brother and sister a lot. Over the years I have become more of a mother figure than a sister to my siblings. My motherly instincts kicked in at a young age and I was forced to grow up fast. All of these things led to me working with kids. I would babysit during the school year and nanny over the summers for other families while still helping my own. Having moved away from home, I am taking care of kids a lot less and it has been interesting to see how God is now working in other ways in my life.
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
– Proverbs 16:9
The second thing that God has really used to shape who I am is my struggle with homosexuality. With this struggle, I have lived the first 18 years of my life confused about who I am and what it means for me to be both a follower of Christ and be attracted to women. My life has been 18 years of an identity crisis. But everything changed this year. This part of my life is a much longer story that is still only in its first chapters and I am excited to see what God has planned. For now I will leave you with this: My identity is in Christ. He is my Lord and Savior. In all of the questioning and confusing, I know that to be true.
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
– Philippians 1:21